Monday, February 20, 2012


So, Why Are You Single? 

"It seems that today's society puts an immense pressure on women to be mothers and wives because it is portrayed as the definition of femininity. "
Are you in your late 20′s or mid 30′s and still SINGLE?! What have you been doing with your BORING life all these years? Don’t you want to be HAPPY?! Are you AFRAID of guys, of COMMITMENT?! Do you have HIGH STANDARDS for choosing a PARTNER in life?!

I know that I speak for single women everywhere when I say that these questions are just down right rude. Believe me. The last time I heard any of those questions above, I thought of breaking the person’s neck with my bare hands.
What is wrong with an adult woman staying single anyway? Why can’t people understand that there are women in this world who may prefer solitude rather than “partners” to complete them?

Society at large feels sorry (but secretly laughs) at clingy women who seem to die when being dumped by their lovers. But they do the same thing for those who have not found romance in life. They look down on these women when in reality these women are actually happy with their situation.

It seems that today’s society puts an immense pressure on women to be mothers and wives because it is portrayed as the definition of femininity. Is a single woman less feminine than a married one? Absolutely NOT! A woman is expected to have a bustling career and be a social butterfly as well as wife and a mother. Woman must posses thriving careers but at the same time they must make it home in time to pick up their children from school and make dinner for their husbands. Although this lifestyle is perfect for some women, it is not for everyone. Many women are breaking this mold and choosing to live a life of solitude but not without the judging eyes of everyone around them.
Hello?! Marriage is not the only way to live in this world. This is not the prehistoric times when women and men have to pair to reproduce for survival. Marriage may not be for everyone and it is fine to be single. A woman’s life fulfillment does not need to come from a man, but rather from what she has accomplished in her life.
According to Michelle Cove in her book entitled “Seeking Happily Ever After: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Being Single Without Losing Your Mind (and Finding Lasting Love Along the Way)”, there are 12 categories of single women. Trust me, not one of them is insane – just SINGLE.

1. The Trailbrazer
This woman’s mind is fixed. She has already come to a realization that married life is not for her. Thus, she follows a different trail in life, purposefully working for her own happiness and self-actualization.

2. The Free-Spirit
This type of woman is most likely active and outdoorsy, with lots of friends who love to travel places and seek adventure like her. She chooses to be single to be always on-the-go, a way of life that will become difficult for her to live by when she stays at home raising kids or cuddling with her boyfriend. Regardless of what this woman is like, she finds her own happiness without needing the reassurance of others.

3. The Slow And Steady
She believes in marriage. But she is not pressured by society to rush to the altar. She takes her time, while waiting for the right man and the perfect timing to settle down. And that right man and perfect timing is only known to her.

4. The Late Bloomer
Quiet repressed, she’s putting her life on hold while waiting for the right man. She’s most likely still a virgin when she says her “I do”.

5. The Soulmate-Seeker
She spends her life searching for The One. She’s doing everything she can to find her soulmate. And for as long as the connection is not there, she’ll trudge the Earth seeking for her better-half.

6. The Damsel In Distress
She’s a princess-in-waiting, dreaming of the day when her prince will come to rescue her. From what? Singlehood.

7. The Organic
She believes in marriage. She’s not cynical about love. But she’s leaving everything to destiny. She’s not actively looking for her soulmate’s whereabouts, just living her life – hoping that someday, someone will bump into her and swept her away.

8. The Phoenix
It takes time for this woman to heal. She’s had her heart broken and while she’s trying to rise from the ashes, it will not be easy for her to trust men again.

9. The Wedding Wisher
She doesn’t care about marriage, but has suddenly felt the need to find a man and settle down – probably after all her girl friends are married.

10. The Town Rebel
She used to be the typical girl who dreams of having a boyfriend or a husband someday. Suddenly, she’s decided she doesn’t want to be like “everybody else”. She’s probably had feminist’s orientation. (Hey, I’m not saying feminists stay single.)

11. The Ritual Inventor
I don’t know about this woman. She wants to find a man, but she wants to be married in an unconventional way. She should look for a man who’s equally passionate about “unconventional marriage” like her. Otherwise, it won’t work.

12. The Someday-Mom
She does not want to mate and get impregnated yet, although she wants to have babies someday.

So, why are you single? One of these categories may perfectly describe you. But if you do not want to entertain the irritating question about your singlehood, then don’t mind the inquiry and just ignore it.

If you’re single and get these questions frequently there are two ways that you could respond.

If you’re quick and witty you can just retort “And why did you get married?” Nobody ever questions a married person’s choices so why should a single person be subjected to such inquiry?

If you’re less of an aggressive person you may prefer to just ignore the question and move onto more important things.

No matter which option you decide to choose always remember to have a confident tone. Instead of answering the question like it’s a problem that needs to be addressed, see it as an opportunity to show how awesome your single life has been. Be happy and carefree. You’re beautiful no matter what so work it!

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